My parents were heading to a wedding friday night (this was written yesterday), which left me without a ride home. Consequently, I walked 20 miles back to my house.

Anyway, I took the train-tracks, as I was hesitant about hitch-hiking, and it got me thinking. I am a fan of conspiricy theories, not because I believe them, but because I am always intruiged by thier creativity, believability and complexity. So to produce another all-encompassing truism that may soon be in the panthanon of crackpot theories, I will share mine about hitchhiking. But first, a quick summary of my hitch-hiking experiences:

When he was my age, my dad hitchhiked all over the globe, Africa, Australia, Europe and even the United States (if you could believe that). I've occassionally depended on altruistic Sumeritans, not just for suicide, and on plenty of occassions I've helped hitch-hikers in thier time of need. Anyway, an accurate method to assess up a society's moral fiber rests in how its populace treats the downtrodden. A few months ago, i hitch-hiked about 5 miles, I walked about two miles before someone actually had the decency to pick me up. While I extended my thumb, I studied the cars and drivers. I'd estimate at least 40% of the cars were SUVs occupied by one, and possibly the overburdening load of 2. I'm not a wierd, gangly hobo, at least, I dont look like I am, I look pretty average, possibly even hansome and clean-cut, a little rugged, but hey, I'm hitchiking, its expected and sexy. To conclude, people, in general, around Cape Cod, are pricks. I have plenty more sources to support that thesis.

Anyway, now with that overdrawn introduction to my beliefs on hitchhiking, I will record the theory I came up with on my exodus last night. Since Henry Ford produced the first piece of shit Model-T, the car has been one of the most covetted consumer goods, the basic tenents of supply-demand mean that a plutocratic rule by Car Manufacturers is inevitable. Anyway, traffic laws cater to the manufacturers. To bleed the maximum number of consumers they could, they passed a law making Hitch-hiking illegal and generated myths that discriminate and deride Hitch-hikers and those kind souls who actually fucking pick them up. If hitch-hiking was legal and people, unless they booted 10x thier perscribed dose of Xanax in thier eyeball, didnt have an irrational fear of the common serial-killing hitch-hiker, there would be signifigantly less car sales in the US alone, enough to bankrupt thier entire business. (note:consequences exaggerated to make me sound like i'm insane) As a sucker who lives on Cape Cod, public transit is all but a dream, so of course, to undermine us, they could just subvert/buy-out all Mass Transit systems too.

So i'm stuck between two conclusions to draw. Do people not pick up hitch-hikers because:

• Car manufacturers have infiltrated our government, because they are manipulative, heartless, Assholes?


• People are Irrational, Hateful Assholes?

The world may never know.

"I know in darkness I will find you, giving up inside like me" Rona - VNV nation.

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