While i'm at the Office, I often find myself scavenging for food during Lunchtime. My co-workers seem to subsist on a diet that consists of nothing but the previous nights leftovers, which always contains meat. For that reason, everyone is well-fed, except for me, the token vegaterian. Therefore, i had to take matters into my own hands. Today I've concocted your average cullanary chef d'oeuvre in a dimminishing attempt to stave off starvation for another day.

Let me include that the song 'Surviving' by NamNamBulu is phenomenal. If anyone has the MP3, send it to me.

Today I made some awesome jalepeno bruschetta. The secret is in the chedder. Recently Leslie bought some chedder that contains ground up jalepenos. So when snagging myself a hunk of cheese, I noticed some sliced up Italian bread, and some diced tomatoes. The gears started to turn.

Ingredients:

• One (1) Loaf of Italian Bread
• Two (2) Tomatoes (Diced)
• One-Half (1/2) Cp Olive Oil
• Two (2)- Four (4) Tblsp Balsamic Vinegar
• One (1) Stick of Jalepeno Chedder
• Seven (8) Dashes of Oregano

This, like most of my recipes, is real simple . If the bread isnt pre-cut, and you have your parents permission, slice the bread in half, on the x-z axis. Next, slice the chedder lengthwise, so its preportional to the bread slice. Place each slab of chedder on each bread slice. Now throw those puppies into the toaster oven. Set to toast,a nd i'll leave this to your discression. (I like it toasty, right on the edge of black)

While its toasting, you can prepare the tomatoes. I lucked out, because there were already pre-diced tomatoes in the fridge. If the tomatoes aren't pre-diced, then get your parents permission to dice them (or have an adult do it for you). Once the tomatoes are diced, saturate them in olive oil. Now take an eye dropper and drop a few droplets of balsamic vinegar onto the tomatoes. Sprinkle some oregano, and you are done with the tomato overlay.

So there you have it. A simple yet extremel tasty (and a little spicy) bruscetta meal. Eat it out on a porch and enjoy the sun. It goes well with Iced tea. Juice or soda, which we are overburdened by, compounded with the tangy bruschetta will overwhelm your tastebuds, depricating your masterpiece.

Prepare this for a girl, and BAM! she'll fall in love with you. Thats why girls always turn me down when I invite them to lunch :(

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While still shell-shocked from the electromagnetic artillery bombardment of the Black Sun Festival (fri-sun aug 5-7), I volentarily enlisted for the Chemlab Campaign on the Boston front (wed, aug 10).

This would be the first time I ever seen Chemlab live. The venue was the Middle East, Cambridge. The crowd consisted of the typical jaded Boston rivetheads and pretentious bauhaus types; it was a great place to make friends.

Anyway, after armoring myself in a thick panzerklein of alcohol (read: in an alley behind the Manray), Chemlab came on. Jarred started with 'exile on mainline', followed by codeine glue and you. During CGY, Jarred passed the mic to me, Jacob, for the chorus:

"If six were nine, i'd lose my mind, yeah i'd-" *CRASH*

Whether it was alcohol induction, a star-struck induced faint, or a little of both, I'm not sure; I promptly crashed onto the floor.

Other than that, good show, the next track was 'Vera Blue', then he played some 'Suture' tracks I only vaugely recognized.

my connection doesnt suck. okay timezilla?

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Hey boys and girl..
I mean, just boys. LOL INTERNET! Anyway, in an effort to meet you halfway, I have found a topic we can all relate to: Bad Jokes. I recently have been accosted by a terrible joke thats been making its rounds in several Mathmatician circles. I believe it was supposed to serve as an analogy for a type of logical fallacy, the "Gamblers Fallacy".

It managed to somewhat successfully explain the fallacy, but it failed to be funny (a prerequesite for a good joke).
The *joke goes something like this:

[quote]When flying on an airplane, a man decides to always bring a bomb with him. "The chances of an airplane having a bomb on it are very small," he reasons, "and certainly the chances of having two are almost none!"[quote] (note to self: build pseudo-html parser for this)

This is the type of joke you should expect to hear at a mathmatician's cocktail party. I can imagine a pretty accurate scene: After finishing his joke in a stale, monotone voice, he'd look at you intently, waiting for you to burst out laughing. While you're sitting there for a moment, repeating word after agonizing word of the joke in your head, trying to discover a hidden meaning, or pun, he just gives you this condescending expression, replete with pity. You feign a chuckle as to avoid making him feel uncomfortable for releasing such a terrible joke. He'll instantly detect your deception (attributed to years of faux pas on his part), and in an effort to appease you, he'll ask, in a nasel voice, if you like "fart jokes", to which you should promptly smash his head against a wall. Jerk.

Anyway, another terrible joke was one told to me in the http://caltrops.com forum. It was one of those hallariously offbeat combinations: missionary and a feminist. Basically it boils down to the missionary telling the feminist that jesus is his wingman. The woman's role as a feminst is pretty fucking irrelevent, unless you're used to deciphering the likes of James Joyce, then layers of this abysmal joke unpeel like a spoiled artichoke.

Whoa, this is A+ material. tell this to that mathmatician in order to provide him with same uncomfortable silence his joke gave us. Since the mathmatician probably never went on a date with, let alone talked to, a girl, he'll probably turn beat red or puke.

If you want to see something even worse, tell that Mathmatician joke about probability to the Caltrops forum goers. You'll probably become the most popular guy on the forum because you'll be catering to thier pretentious egos with your sophisticated wit. Expect alot of PMs asking why the jokes funny.

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